so now what??

It took me a long time to make this first entry although I am bursting with things to say because I could not make up my mind about what this blog should be about. I am not a born writer nor do I consider myself to be a particularly good one. I do not wish to make any kind of statement with this blog nor do I wish/expect to achieve any kind of commerical success with it. However, I do believe that this is a good way for me to stay in touch with some of my families and closest friends, perhaps this is even a way for them to get to know me better. I have been away from "home" for a long time and now being on the move again makes keeping touch with people a little challenging. I also enjoy writing and it helps me to sort out my thoughts....like talking out loud to onself....at least I do that.

So now that we got that clear...let me burst!

Here we are, a little over 2 weeks in Geneva, (offically in Gaillard, France) but pretty much just across the Swiss border. It's slowly dawning on me that I am a fulltime stay-home mum. (which mum, isn't working full time?!) At the moment, we are settling down, figuring out where, what, how, when, why everything is, spending quality family time together, visiting prospective apartments as our semi-permant home and everything that comes along with relocating. Personally, I am trying to figure out what my next steps should be as a person.

A few days ago, I had a small meltdown. I wonder how we got ourselves into this situation. I mean at our age, at this point in our lives, why are we trying to learn a new language, looking for new goals in life and figuring out where I can buy a new pillow?!?! Shouldn't we already be settled? Fortunately, after a "good" night sleep, I remembered again why we chose to be here. It's an opportunity of a life-time. Not just for Vincent because I am more and more convinced that he is making one of the best choices not just for his career but also as a person; more on that in the future. Technically, I should be really happy with this opportunity because I have always said that I would like to stay home for at least for one or two years with my baby. I have come to realize how fast they grow. In holland, we say that babies grow like cabbage, in Singapore I guess you can compare them to growing at the speed of "tao gei". On the other hand, I am at a complete lost about what to do. Don't get me wrong, I love being there when Max crawls for the first time, I love our slow lazy waking-up in bed in the mornings, my heart overflows with joy knowing that he sees me as a safe and reliable spot among the seas of children and toys in a playroom and I cannot describe the happiness I experience when he coos along when I sing to him. But I think his life and mine would be richer if I am also developed in other ways. Anyway, these are some of my choices:

A) A study....(communication, PR??)
B) Get the next technical job
C) Get a new job in a new field (dependent on A?)
D) Concentrate on being mum
E) Make another baby (do I really want that???)
F) A combination of some, if not, all of the above options

So are you ready to offer your suggestions and advice because I am ready to hear them out.